The talk
by Futile Resistance
Summary: Tv is a terrible influence. Pip learns some bad things, and expects Damien to explain. Needless to say, Damien explains.


I stared blankly into the TV screen. The show I was watching was of too high an intellect level for me. But I found it quite intriguing. I sat upside down on the couch, trying to read the subtitles backwards. The characters in the show often mentioned increasingly confusing words I'd never heard of. Then Damien appeared from our room when the commercials started. "Top o' the morning, Damien!" I said, flashing him a cute smile and waving.  
"Nnggg..." He said with half-lidded eyes. "What's so great about it?" He sat next to me on the couch. I resumed to normal upright sitting position.  
"I get to spend it with you... that's what's so great about it." I snuggled up next to him and rested my head on his chest.  
"What are you watching?" He asked, running his fingers through my hair.  
"Oh, righto! I had almost forgotten... I had some questions!" I said looking at him.  
"Ok, what is it?" He raised an eyebrow.  
"Well, this show arose lots of questions... but I only have one solid question!" I said. He nodded, telling me to continue. "Damien, What's sex?" He choked, suddenly, looking wide eyed.  
"*ahem* WHAT?" He said, face red.  
"What's sex? The women in this show talk it about it constantly!" I pondered for a second to remember what else they had said... "They also mentioned quality of sex, and positions! So... what is it?" He switched the channel on the TV.  
"SO, *couch cough* HOW ABOUT THEM GIRAFFES? ANIMAL PLANET IS COOL, HUH?" He shouted awkwardly. I pouted.  
"Stop treating me like a little kid" I said. He sighed.  
"I wanted to keep stuff like this away from you, because I like your innocence... and you won't be innocent after knowing what sex is..." He told me sternly.  
"I still be my innocent little self, I promise!" I said, determined. He leaned over and whispered in my ear. He told me the details and what exactly could come from it. He told me it supposedly felt good, but you can also get diseases from it. He told me sex was the most common prompt for writing jokes. I was as red as an apple by the time he was done explaining.  
"So..." I said, feeling sort of awkward. "Have you... ever had sex?" He looked at me like I had killed his dignity.  
"No..." He said, looking upset. "DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH AT ME FOR BEING A VIRGIN!" He yelled at me.  
"I won't! I'm a virgin too!" I said in my defense.  
There was a long silence. And so I figured now was as good a time as any.  
"Do you _want_ to have sex?" I whispered to him. His face almost glowed red and he did that awkward cough thing he always does.  
"*cough cough* Well... uh... d-do you?" He asked, scratching his head.  
"Well, I do... if you do..." I blushed. His face turned an even brighter shade of red.  
"I-I dunno man... stop cornering me with the questions..." he was looking so shy. I'd never seen him act like this, he looked pretty innocent for once. I snuggled up to him.  
"If you want to... just say so." I said.  
"Ya know, it _does_ hurt the first time you do it." He said, blushing.  
"I don't care, I'd take pain for you." I said.

He walked me to the bed room, and I felt totally prepared.

...

Damien sat hunched over on the edge of the bed, while I cried.  
"I told you it was going to hurt!" He said, scowling.  
"Y-yeah...*sniffle* but that was ridiculous!" I hid under the blankets. "How c-could anyone like _that_..." he pulled the blankets away from my face.  
"You just weren't ready." He brushed my hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead.  
"And I never will be!" I growled. He chuckled. "What?" I shouted while he laughed.  
"You weren't kidding. You still are your innocent little self." He patted my head. I huffed.  
"Stop making fun of me." I said, attempting a monotone.  
"It's a good thing." He grinned. "I've never seen anyone still be so innocent after being raped."  
"You said it's not rape if you like it!" That slipped out of my mouth. I cupped my hands over my mouth and blushed.  
"And I thought you said you _didn't_ like it..." He said, looking devilish.

It was going to be a long day.


End file.
